Tomorrow is September. You are going to be a September baby - born in Spring, my absolute favourite month. The days start to get longer, the warmth starts to creep in - the whole world begins to bloom. Whereever we drive I am pointing out blossoms to your mama.. my favourite are the light pink ones.. mama likes the white ones. I am truly excited that you will be born in my favourite season. Every year we will celebrate in the new spring warmth, as we head out of the cold of winter, as everything bursts into life and we sow the seeds for our summer veges. Is it time to tell you about me? What would I say? I can't wait until you join our family.... I'm on high alert now that you are 5 days overdue... my level of excitement and sleeplessness is reaching new highs! I bite my nails, and can barely concentrate at work. This is my second last day - I am taking 5 weeks off to be with you and your mama when you come into the world. You'll be here this week most likely... we all wonder what you look like. Your sisters have been drawing you pictures and writing you cards... "Dear blobby, I wonder what your name will be?" It's still a secret.. well your Teta Fabe and Gabby know what your name is, but only the four of us are in on it. And your middle name is still up in the air - although I'm fairly confident I know what your mama will pick.
If I could do anything in the world I would grow plants... I think I may still do that when I get older... I always wanted to be a country girl - to live on a farm, to have chickens and a house cow, a big orchard and a vege garden... bake scones and make jams and pickles... wear aprons everywhere and send the children out into the paddock to play... I should have been born in the 50's in a country town.... of course if I had it would have never appealed to me. So I met your mama and we fell in love - she is the love of my life - and we decided to have our very own suburban farm. We want to live as sustainable a life as we can. So I now have my chickens, and vege gardens, and we're on the way to having an orchard... Soon we'll have our own water tanks to keep the garden growing by harvesting that valuable resource from the roof... we swap our eggs and veges with friends and family... and there is nothing in the world that gives me greater pleasure. At work I sit in front of a computer all day... and I dream of the soft grass under my bare feet and digging new holes for seeds, and what I need to get started for spring... the things I want to teach you all involve these skills. Knowing the essence of food - how it grows, where it comes from, how delicious it can be... how to nurture and protect the earth, how to work with it instead of destroy it. PJ and Gram - my mum and Dad taught me these things...
Are you ready to meet us yet my precious little blossom? It's nice and warm out here - come and play!
I have a sling to carry you around in - your mama has carried you so well for 9 whole months, it must be my turn now, I'd say she could do with a break... although I know it will break her heart not to have you inside her anymore... you two are such good buddies already...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Hibernation
I’m not quite sure who I should tell you about now. I guess it’s getting so close to the time when you’ll be here with us that I really should introduce the main characters in this little production we call a family! I don’t know that it’s needed though – I mean I started this here to tell you about all the people who would be a part of your life so that one day when we looked back you could see who was around when you were born. What was going on and what was important to us. That it might be interesting to look back one day – but mostly, and more importantly so that I could talk to you. I suppose that was the main purpose. I’ve not been here before…. Not been in this role. I am expecting the birth of my first son, the third child in our family – but I am not carrying him inside me. That’s a different spot for me to be in you see, and so in an attempt to connect with you – to do something on a regular basis that might start our bonding process I started this journal. You’ve met my dad PJ and Andy… Fabe and Gab… there’s so many other people in our life it feels a bit overwhelming…. Maybe that’s why I feel so stuck. I feel overwhelmed by our family in its entirety. There doesn’t seem to be enough time in the week to see everyone we are supposed to. All these people that love and adore you already – and who want to see us – and I feel myself turning inward and wanting to just hibernate and wait it out, protect and prepare ourselves for your arrival… some kind of maternal instinct is kicking in and I want to conserve energy and fluff the nest… Perhaps that’s the thing. My urge to turn into a recluse and just stay home with your mama and our girls – not call anyone, not see anyone – it’s a preparation for you. Making sure we are strong and well and prepared. This is my role.
What do I want to tell you before you get here? What do I want you to know?
You probably already are tuned to the flux of our lives. The chaos of our week with the girls, and the calm of our week alone. “Mama week” your mama calls it… the weeks that we are in our house without the girls – just the mamas by themselves. I’m sure already that you have noticed the noise level, the busy-ness and the rush when they are around.. the house feels full – of people, of life, of energy. These are the weeks that rush past – when we close our eyes at night we sleep more deeply, and for less hours. The washing basket fills up at an alarming pace. Everything is coloured with crayons – laughter, tears, playtime. There is routine…. Morning, afternoon and evenings pass in similar fashion. Dinner, stories, teeth, songs and bed….. breakfast, teeth, uniforms, hairs and school….. we sing songs to you, you kick during the stories… you sleep when the girls sleep. You are part of our daily life already. You know these movements, you walk through these hours with us. You have started your own routines. 10pm you wake up and play… You will help define our weeks soon. Mama weeks pass slower – we sleep more, and spend less time in our house – it’s quieter, obviously, so we escape more often in search of the fullness, and laughter that seems to be missing.
Your mama makes me laugh. She makes me laugh in so many ways. There’s silly laughs, and pun laughs, there’s how embarrassment laughing, and total utter belly laughs. She laughs at me laughing… she tickles, and has learnt how to wrestle… I think the most common thing I say to her – apart from I love you – is you’re funny… because she is. She tells funny stories – she makes my eyes crinkle up and tears come out. We have such fun together. And I mean like good old fashioned “boy wasn’t that fun” kind of fun. We are still going out on dates – lunch dates, dinner dates, movie dates… we used to go to the drive in all the time till they pulled it down. She drives me to work when she can because she says she misses me too much once I leave for work… we are undeniably disgustingly in love. We are in love with each other and we are in love with our family… we spend a good deal of time talking about how wonderful our family is. And we always knew we’d want it to be bigger – always. From almost the moment we fell in love you were pending in our lives. We danced so close and your mama said “I want to have babies with you” and I smiled and held her and we knew you would by with us – one day. And that one day is almost here…. And there’s so much more to tell you….
What do I want to tell you before you get here? What do I want you to know?
You probably already are tuned to the flux of our lives. The chaos of our week with the girls, and the calm of our week alone. “Mama week” your mama calls it… the weeks that we are in our house without the girls – just the mamas by themselves. I’m sure already that you have noticed the noise level, the busy-ness and the rush when they are around.. the house feels full – of people, of life, of energy. These are the weeks that rush past – when we close our eyes at night we sleep more deeply, and for less hours. The washing basket fills up at an alarming pace. Everything is coloured with crayons – laughter, tears, playtime. There is routine…. Morning, afternoon and evenings pass in similar fashion. Dinner, stories, teeth, songs and bed….. breakfast, teeth, uniforms, hairs and school….. we sing songs to you, you kick during the stories… you sleep when the girls sleep. You are part of our daily life already. You know these movements, you walk through these hours with us. You have started your own routines. 10pm you wake up and play… You will help define our weeks soon. Mama weeks pass slower – we sleep more, and spend less time in our house – it’s quieter, obviously, so we escape more often in search of the fullness, and laughter that seems to be missing.
Your mama makes me laugh. She makes me laugh in so many ways. There’s silly laughs, and pun laughs, there’s how embarrassment laughing, and total utter belly laughs. She laughs at me laughing… she tickles, and has learnt how to wrestle… I think the most common thing I say to her – apart from I love you – is you’re funny… because she is. She tells funny stories – she makes my eyes crinkle up and tears come out. We have such fun together. And I mean like good old fashioned “boy wasn’t that fun” kind of fun. We are still going out on dates – lunch dates, dinner dates, movie dates… we used to go to the drive in all the time till they pulled it down. She drives me to work when she can because she says she misses me too much once I leave for work… we are undeniably disgustingly in love. We are in love with each other and we are in love with our family… we spend a good deal of time talking about how wonderful our family is. And we always knew we’d want it to be bigger – always. From almost the moment we fell in love you were pending in our lives. We danced so close and your mama said “I want to have babies with you” and I smiled and held her and we knew you would by with us – one day. And that one day is almost here…. And there’s so much more to tell you….
Monday, July 6, 2009
Washing....
Here I am at work again - thinking about you, and your immanent arrival. I spent the weekend planning and getting ready for you. I took your sisters to the baby shop and finally bought your bassinet - and brought it home and built it, and placed it in it's spot in our room. It looks so sweet there, and in the morning your sisters came into our bed for a cuddle, and LA said "is blob in there yet?". They are so impatient to meet you. LA lies down in front of your mamas belly and giggles when you kick her in the back... they keep asking us what name we've chosen for you! Not telling... *grin*
We also had some photos taken this weekend... photos of the girls and us, and you inside your mamas belly... she looks so gorgeous and her belly is round and beautiful and I wanted to capture that for her, so that she can look back as you grow up and remember the time when you lived in there... when she grew you from a tiny egg into an amazing little boy...
We are singing to you all the time...
I took all your sheets and wraps and blankets out of their cases and washed them all with nice smelling soaps and hung them up to dry... we are getting ready... your lungs are totally ready to take that first breath when you come into our world now.. each day you get bigger and bigger and soon you will be here and I will hold you tight and kiss the back of your neck....
I love you my little blob.
We also had some photos taken this weekend... photos of the girls and us, and you inside your mamas belly... she looks so gorgeous and her belly is round and beautiful and I wanted to capture that for her, so that she can look back as you grow up and remember the time when you lived in there... when she grew you from a tiny egg into an amazing little boy...
We are singing to you all the time...
I took all your sheets and wraps and blankets out of their cases and washed them all with nice smelling soaps and hung them up to dry... we are getting ready... your lungs are totally ready to take that first breath when you come into our world now.. each day you get bigger and bigger and soon you will be here and I will hold you tight and kiss the back of your neck....
I love you my little blob.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Gabby
Hey you... you've been rolling around so much mama thinks you are trying to escape through her belly button! It's fun to lie in bed at night and rest my hands on her belly and feel you kicking and moving in there... Mama saw the midwife today and you are growing well, she thinks you'll be a big boy, and all is going really well. We have another ultrasound in 2 weeks, just after my birthday - i look forward to seeing how squished you are in there now! The midwife said that your head was down and you were in a good position. Mama needs to get more iron - more steak, and green veges... which she's always craving. I guess her body knows what she needs...
Tonight I am going to introduce you to Gab. Gabby is teta Fabe's girlfriend - but she is more than just that. Gab is your mama's best mate. They work together down at the warves at port botany and have done for many years. Gab works hard, she's good at what she does and really takes pride in her work - although she'd never say so... she deserves a lot more credit than she probably gets in her workplace, and I think that your mama and Gab have a lot of similarities in that respect. Gab is also LA's stepmum. She cares for your sister like she is a daughter, and she spends a good deal of time looking after MG too - when her mummy needs help or whenever we are over at their house. Gab is very house proud - she spends a lot of time on her garden, and keeping the house spic and span... it always looks amazing - her and teta Fabe are so clean and neat it hurts sometimes!! Gab loves the beach - she grew up on the sand at Maroubra, and she's inspired LA and MG to do nippers in summer, and she's already bought you your first swimmers to wear this summer!! She's the other person we've asked to be a special carer in your life - she will teach you how to swim in the surf, and run on the sand... Gab is the most loyal friend I know, and she'd do anything for us and she has done so much already. I'm sure the two of you will get on like a house on fire... she knew you were in Mama's belly before we even knew.. and she knew you were going to be a boy... she's so looking forward to you joining our family...
Tonight I am going to introduce you to Gab. Gabby is teta Fabe's girlfriend - but she is more than just that. Gab is your mama's best mate. They work together down at the warves at port botany and have done for many years. Gab works hard, she's good at what she does and really takes pride in her work - although she'd never say so... she deserves a lot more credit than she probably gets in her workplace, and I think that your mama and Gab have a lot of similarities in that respect. Gab is also LA's stepmum. She cares for your sister like she is a daughter, and she spends a good deal of time looking after MG too - when her mummy needs help or whenever we are over at their house. Gab is very house proud - she spends a lot of time on her garden, and keeping the house spic and span... it always looks amazing - her and teta Fabe are so clean and neat it hurts sometimes!! Gab loves the beach - she grew up on the sand at Maroubra, and she's inspired LA and MG to do nippers in summer, and she's already bought you your first swimmers to wear this summer!! She's the other person we've asked to be a special carer in your life - she will teach you how to swim in the surf, and run on the sand... Gab is the most loyal friend I know, and she'd do anything for us and she has done so much already. I'm sure the two of you will get on like a house on fire... she knew you were in Mama's belly before we even knew.. and she knew you were going to be a boy... she's so looking forward to you joining our family...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Teta Fabe
Good evening my little man... I spent the weekend sorting and organising enormous piles of your things. Everyone who came to the baby shower has spoilt you rotten already. You have clothes and toys and books galore... I found the stroller and change table and various bits and bobs in the garage and cleaned everything and started setting up your little space in our room... it feels as if you'll be here so soon...
Once upon a time your mama and your teta Fabe lived together, and loved each other... they were happy and fun and they brought your big sister into the world.. your teta Fabe carried her in her belly and birthed her and fed her and they both cared for her and raised her. As happens sometimes your mama and your teta Fabe decided after a while that they would be better as friends.... and they are now... I met your mama back before your sister was born and I was fantastic friends and your teta Fabe and I spent so much time together me with the musical genious and her with the little artist... we became close friends. When your mama and I fell in love we all knew it was important to stay close, to stay friends, and to help each other and be a loving family... so when your mama and I created you we asked teta Fabe to be a special person in your life... to be someone to adore you, and care for you, and to watch over you and make sure that no matter what - you will be safe and loved and happy.
I wanted to tell you a bit about your Teta Fabe.... she is tall, very tall! And she's slim, and has these long long legs, and fabulous thick curly hair... she used to be a teacher, and she still is in a way... she teaches children about some of the most wonderful buildings in our city, about our history. She is a fantastic friend... she listens, and she talks, and she makes you feel important, and special. She is my best friend I'd have to say... apart from your mama of course! She always looks great - she wears amazing outfits, and fantastic shoes, and wonderful accesories... if i need advice I would go to her - no question. She is passionate about what she believes in - about raising smart healthy kids, about eating well, and she has an innate sense of right... she's terrifyingly smart..... but she can also be shallow and hilarious and silly if the occasion calls for it! She will buy you the best gifts, and wrap them better than anyone... and she will love you and protect you always... she has stuck by us, and we have stuck by her through hard times, and great times... we are truly family. Apart from her partner Gabby - she'll be the best aunty you could ever ask for....
Once upon a time your mama and your teta Fabe lived together, and loved each other... they were happy and fun and they brought your big sister into the world.. your teta Fabe carried her in her belly and birthed her and fed her and they both cared for her and raised her. As happens sometimes your mama and your teta Fabe decided after a while that they would be better as friends.... and they are now... I met your mama back before your sister was born and I was fantastic friends and your teta Fabe and I spent so much time together me with the musical genious and her with the little artist... we became close friends. When your mama and I fell in love we all knew it was important to stay close, to stay friends, and to help each other and be a loving family... so when your mama and I created you we asked teta Fabe to be a special person in your life... to be someone to adore you, and care for you, and to watch over you and make sure that no matter what - you will be safe and loved and happy.
I wanted to tell you a bit about your Teta Fabe.... she is tall, very tall! And she's slim, and has these long long legs, and fabulous thick curly hair... she used to be a teacher, and she still is in a way... she teaches children about some of the most wonderful buildings in our city, about our history. She is a fantastic friend... she listens, and she talks, and she makes you feel important, and special. She is my best friend I'd have to say... apart from your mama of course! She always looks great - she wears amazing outfits, and fantastic shoes, and wonderful accesories... if i need advice I would go to her - no question. She is passionate about what she believes in - about raising smart healthy kids, about eating well, and she has an innate sense of right... she's terrifyingly smart..... but she can also be shallow and hilarious and silly if the occasion calls for it! She will buy you the best gifts, and wrap them better than anyone... and she will love you and protect you always... she has stuck by us, and we have stuck by her through hard times, and great times... we are truly family. Apart from her partner Gabby - she'll be the best aunty you could ever ask for....
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Cheeks and more....
My cheeky little thing...
We had the ultrasound... and your sisters were there too... they waited very nicely, and were excited the first time that you came onto the screen! I could have sat there for the rest of the week watching you... moving, yawning, putting your little hand into your mouth... you were squished all the way down low in mamas belly and you seemed as comfy as can be and didn't want to have your photo taken... mama had to roll around and go for a big walk... I tried to talk you into it, but you were quite happy where you were thank you very much! So we got some photos... you have the chubbiest little cheeks - i want to smother them with kisses... and the tiniest upturned nose that looks just like mine! We got a dvd with you moving around... the photos are very fuzzy and squishy but we can squint our eyes and see what you might look like...
As mama said - you'll be here really soon and I will be able to hug and cuddle and bath and change and sing to and squeeze you in no time... I can't wait to get home every day just to put my hands near you and feel you moving around...
We had the ultrasound... and your sisters were there too... they waited very nicely, and were excited the first time that you came onto the screen! I could have sat there for the rest of the week watching you... moving, yawning, putting your little hand into your mouth... you were squished all the way down low in mamas belly and you seemed as comfy as can be and didn't want to have your photo taken... mama had to roll around and go for a big walk... I tried to talk you into it, but you were quite happy where you were thank you very much! So we got some photos... you have the chubbiest little cheeks - i want to smother them with kisses... and the tiniest upturned nose that looks just like mine! We got a dvd with you moving around... the photos are very fuzzy and squishy but we can squint our eyes and see what you might look like...
As mama said - you'll be here really soon and I will be able to hug and cuddle and bath and change and sing to and squeeze you in no time... I can't wait to get home every day just to put my hands near you and feel you moving around...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Showering the baby...
So the baby shower is this weekend...
How did we get here so fast? How did you grow so big already?
Tomorrow night we go and see you again - this ultrasound is extra special because your big sisters are coming and they get to watch you moving around in there... it's a 4D one, so we'll see what you look like, your gorgeous little face, your adorable hands... your mama and I are already totally in love with you... you like to play at about 10pm every night - rolling and moving and kicking. You use your mama's bladder like a trampoline. We think you are very strong, big and bouncing and healthy like your mama and me. We spent the weekend away relaxing, and focusing on each other and on you. Your mama did yoga and we had long baths and read out chapters from the birth book.
This weekend all our family and friends who are looking forward to meeting you are going to be at our house for this baby shower... they will bring presents for you and your mama... they will make sure you know that you are soooo very loved before you even join us here on the outside... it will be noisy my sweetness so I hope you're ready...
You've been getting hiccups a lot - it's the nicest feeling for me... that rythmic beat, like your very own dance mix inside mama's belly... we have been talking to you lots... you and I have our own way of talking - i move you, and you kick me... you feel so real to us now. There's a huge list in my head of things that need doing in the next ten weeks and none of them are done yet...
"we'll get there" says your mama... she always makes me feel ok... I rub her poor tired feet every night... this has been an amazing ride for us both... we are so blessed already by you. Mama thinks you have a vortex that gets us everywhere on time - even when we leave a bit late we somehow manage to turn up... you are speeding up time for us and weeks are slipping away so fast... 30 weeks you've been with us now....
Your nana (mama's mama) is flying up from Melbourne for the baby shower... she will make us all good things to eat, and bring lot's of things to spoil you and your sisters... she is the essence of mother, and she teaches us so much every time she is here - and even when she's not here... we miss her lots... she is also sooo excited to meet you... I can't wait to show her the pictures of you that we get tomorrow.
I love you my little man - I know you know that already...
How did we get here so fast? How did you grow so big already?
Tomorrow night we go and see you again - this ultrasound is extra special because your big sisters are coming and they get to watch you moving around in there... it's a 4D one, so we'll see what you look like, your gorgeous little face, your adorable hands... your mama and I are already totally in love with you... you like to play at about 10pm every night - rolling and moving and kicking. You use your mama's bladder like a trampoline. We think you are very strong, big and bouncing and healthy like your mama and me. We spent the weekend away relaxing, and focusing on each other and on you. Your mama did yoga and we had long baths and read out chapters from the birth book.
This weekend all our family and friends who are looking forward to meeting you are going to be at our house for this baby shower... they will bring presents for you and your mama... they will make sure you know that you are soooo very loved before you even join us here on the outside... it will be noisy my sweetness so I hope you're ready...
You've been getting hiccups a lot - it's the nicest feeling for me... that rythmic beat, like your very own dance mix inside mama's belly... we have been talking to you lots... you and I have our own way of talking - i move you, and you kick me... you feel so real to us now. There's a huge list in my head of things that need doing in the next ten weeks and none of them are done yet...
"we'll get there" says your mama... she always makes me feel ok... I rub her poor tired feet every night... this has been an amazing ride for us both... we are so blessed already by you. Mama thinks you have a vortex that gets us everywhere on time - even when we leave a bit late we somehow manage to turn up... you are speeding up time for us and weeks are slipping away so fast... 30 weeks you've been with us now....
Your nana (mama's mama) is flying up from Melbourne for the baby shower... she will make us all good things to eat, and bring lot's of things to spoil you and your sisters... she is the essence of mother, and she teaches us so much every time she is here - and even when she's not here... we miss her lots... she is also sooo excited to meet you... I can't wait to show her the pictures of you that we get tomorrow.
I love you my little man - I know you know that already...
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